


Whatever Satisfies the Soul is Truth

by Rivulet027



Series: Star Wars Femslash [4]
Category: Star Wars (Marvel Comics), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Archaeology, Developing Relationship, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Nostalgia, POV Sana Starros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23227840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivulet027/pseuds/Rivulet027
Summary: Sana and Aphra go on their first rogue archaeology trip together.
Relationships: Chelli Lona Aphra/Sana Starros
Series: Star Wars Femslash [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970902
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2
Collections: Worldbuilding Exchange 2020





	Whatever Satisfies the Soul is Truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weakinteraction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weakinteraction/gifts).



> A/N: Title is a Walt Whitman quote. Jinx is from The Clone War episodes Padawan Lost and Wookiee Hunt, but any prior knowledge of him is not needed.

The lightsaber is nestled in a drawer, the first weapon in front of two daggers. The material holding it appears to be a deep blue in the low light of the room. The lightsaber gleams a silvery chrome color. It’s cylindrical with a clip on one end and a hoop on the other. There’s a button inlaid opposite of the clip. The grip is black. Sana can’t seem to take her eyes off of it. Her mouth feels dry. This is only the second time in her life she’s seen one. It’s been years since she thought about Jinx. Memories from when she’s young are more fragments than anything else, but she knows that when she was four, he was her best friend and neighbor. She remembers the way she used to laugh when he’d make dust dance in the air. She remembers daring him to float larger and larger items until it was her he was able to lift. She vividly remembers the lightsaber the person who’d come to take him to the Jedi temple on Coruscant wore. She remembers how hopeful Jinx’s mother had been: her son making it out of Wormstew Town and not as a smuggler. Sana remembers missing him in a way that cuts deeply, but ultimately being jealous that he got to go to a place where he wouldn’t have to worry when his next meal would come. He was younger than her, maybe about a year or a year and half? There aren’t Jedi anymore. They’re all dead, aren’t they? They’re at least all regulated to the past. Sana feels herself caught between the thought that Jinx is dead and the memory of his green face smiling at her. She feels nausea roll through her. She wants to close the drawer, wants to walk away from this empty mansion’s collection and not look back, except the jewels on the hilts of those twin daggers nestled near the lightsaber would be enough to buy that ship she’s been eyeing. They might even be enough to start in on the upgrades she’s planning. If she sells the rickety ship she’s currently using she can have her long planned for, long dreamed of, _Volt Cobra_.

Aphra presses into her side, then makes a sound of delight. “Do you know how many credits we can get for a lightsaber?”

For one brief moment Sana wants to say that this excursion is starting to feel less like archaeology and more like looting. A little time at the University of Bar’leth and she’s getting soft. The university is a means to end: she’s supposed to be learning the value of items she plans to smuggle later so she’ll be able to charge a premium. It’s research and knowledge that will serve her in getting rich. Settling into the life of an academic isn’t meant for her, no matter how much she might be enjoying learning.

“Sana?” Aphra pressed more firmly against her, wrapping an arm around her waist. Sana wants to sag against her, wants to let some of the weight of her memories unfurl between them. She knows better. She forces herself to stand taller.

She swallows and wets her lips. “Nothing.”

Aphra tilts her head, regards her silently a moment. Sana scrambles to find a way to smooth over the way she’s been awkwardly just staring at the contents of one drawer in a large collection of ancient weapons.

“I’m fine Chelli,” she tries. She’s not, but she’s not sure she knows how to explain that she isn’t to Aphra.

“Sure you are,” Aphra grins, the cheer is false. Aphra is clearly playing along, before she studies the drawer quietly for a moment. “I’m not seeing any traps or alarms.”

Then she picks up the lightsaber and steps back grinning. She ignites it. It’s a pale blue, almost white. Sana feels her breath catch at how beautiful it is.

“Do you know who it belonged to?” she manages to ask. Does that even really matter since it’s part of a long dead collector’s cache?

Aphra shrugs. “We can probably find records if you really want to know.”

No, knowing the lightsaber’s backstory might make it more difficult to sell. She doesn’t need to get attached to a long dead relic when she can feel the tug of a long dead friend pulling at her. She wants her dream ship. She also wants to know what happened to Jinx.

It’s probably better not to know, she tries telling herself.

Aphra powers down the lightsaber and holds it out to her. Sana takes it, clipping it to her belt. She wants to kiss Chelli, wants to thank her for just handing it over. It’s sentimental. She knows better. Still, she surges forwards kissing Chelli, letting herself forget the pull of memories for a moment. She draws Chelli close, one hand cupping her face, the other her waist. Chelli wraps both hands around her neck, presses their bodies close and Sana wants...except now isn’t the time. She forces herself to pull back and point out, “You made this sound like we came here to learn something.”

Chelli keeps her eyes closed as she hums an acknowledgement. “I feel like we’re learning a lot.”

Sana leans in, rests her forehead against Aphra’s. She’s becoming a softhearted fool. She knows better. She does. “We need to have a serious discussion about how we’re splitting profits.”

Aphra steps back and opens her eyes. “You want to do this now or after we get everything back to the ship?”

“My ship,” Sana points out.

Aphra bits her lip, eyes going calculating. It’s Sana’s ship and supplies, but Aphra knew about this collection and will likely know better sellers than Sana. She’s going to have to stick close to Aphra and learn on her feet. She needs to stop being so saccharine. Aphra grins and pulls her into another kiss, this one full of heat. She pulls back just enough to whisper against Sana’s lips. “I knew you were perfect for this.”

Sana feels herself shutter. Because she’s from Nar Shaddaa? She’s never told anyone what specific town she’s from, but Nar Shaddaa does have a certain representation.

Aphra kisses her again hard. “We are going to make the best team.”

Team? Maybe she misunderstood. Sana tilts her head. She’s never considered being part of a team before, especially not with someone she’s involved with. “I thought you were more of an academic?”

“Me?” Aphra laughs. “I’m not sure I have the right temperament for that. I like knowledge, but it’s not going to provide me with any sort of security.”

A fast ship and enough credits to keep it in fuel and herself fed, that would be security. She wants to include Aphra in that equation. Is it safe to consider her and Aphra a team? Sana isn’t sure, but she’s warming to the idea.

“You’re right,” she agrees.

Aphra grins and rattles off the rest of the plot for the good they’re stealing. It doesn’t take long to get the entire weapons cache onto her ship. 

“Is there anything else worth going back for?” Sana asks. Her ship isn’t large, but they could still fit more in the cargo hold if they want to.

Aphra wrinkles her nose. “All the money is in the weapons. Everything else is cheap replicas.”

Sana reminds herself to trust Aphra in this, she did do the research after all. It doesn’t take them long to sell the weapons, well all but one of the weapons.

“Do you know how many credits we can get for a lightsaber?” Aphra reminds as she leans back in the copilot seat. She sounds disappointed or concerned? It’s been awhile since anyone was actually concerned about her, Sana’s not sure how to react.

She turns the familiar weight of the lightsaber in her hands as she regards it.

“Do you want to know who it belonged to?”

Sana shakes her head.

“Then why hold onto it?”

“What happens when we sell it?” Sana stalls.

Aphra shrugs. “It ends up with a collector or it gets broken down for parts.”

Sana can hear in Aphra’s tone that either fate doesn’t matter and she knows Aphra’s right. The credits are what matter and still the lightsaber weighs heavy in her hand.

“It’d be ridiculous to try and find out the fate of one Jedi,” she lets herself say.

“Probably depends on how famous they were during the Clone Wars,” Aphra allows.

“Chelli, they’re all dead.”

“They all died as traitors to the Republic,” Aphra agrees, the words rote.

Their eyes meet. There is no Republic, only the Empire. If that’s a lie, then couldn’t it be a lie that they were all killed?

“Don’t make me curious,” Aphra warns. 

“There wouldn’t be any credits in it and we’d only get ourselves killed,” Sana finishes. She can’t imagine that if there are lies to uncover that the Imperials would let them live if they actually uncovered anything. She stares down at the lightsaber again before she silently hands it over to Aphra. Chelli will know how to sell it, they’ll split their credits. Marinating in thoughts of a friend she knows is dead will just lead her own death, but maybe one day she’ll have her ship and enough credits that she can offer someone else in Wormstew Town the hope that the Jedi offered Jinx.


End file.
